Some people think living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Big
cities
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like New York are significantly popular places since there are a large number of shops and facilities.
Therefore
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, many citizens are likely to move
big
Change preposition
to big
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cities
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for seeking a better life than
country sides
Correct your spelling
countrysides
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.
However
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, certain
people
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consider that living in big
cities
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a bad effect on
citizen's
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens'
show examples
health
Use synonyms
conditions.It is agreed that
this
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view by discussing two observations.
To begin
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with, large
cities
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are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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more dirty air condition because of
many
Correct article usage
the many
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traffics. It has become clear that the
people
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who live in big
cities
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
likely to have
health
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problems including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lung cancer by the Japanese government.
For instance
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, a report conducted by Tokyo university illustrated that the lifespan of
people
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who live in Tokyo was 3.2 years shorter than
Iwate
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in Iwate
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which is one of the famous
prefecture
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prefectures
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as a suburb.
Therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
makes clear that dirty air
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
in big
cities
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lead to
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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diseases and decreasing the lifespan.
Moreover
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,
noises
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in big
cities
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have a bad effect on
people
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's mental
health
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.
For example
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, the citizens who live in busy areas always hear large
noises
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because of facilities including restaurants and clubs. Due to
this
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situation, the quality of
sleeping
Replace the word
sleep
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is quite poor,
result
Change the form of the verb
resulting
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in a lack of concentration for working.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
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to that, some
doctores
Correct your spelling
doctors
consider that kind of
people
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
inclined to have mental issues.
Thus
Linking Words
, it becomes apparent that
noises
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in large
cities
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make
people
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's conditions worse. To sum up, big
cities
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have the worse air condition and the problem of
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noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
show examples
, owing to
this
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situation, living
large
Change preposition
in large
show examples
cities
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a bad impact on many citizens. It is true that big
cities
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are quite fancy with many attractive facilities,
conversely
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, living there can not
supported
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support
be supported
show examples
definitely because of bad effects
for
Change preposition
on
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our body. After
thorough
Add an article
a thorough
show examples
analysis of
this
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subject, it is predicted that our society should consider
seriously
Correct pronoun usage
it seriously
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and select the city where we live for our
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lyu on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory problems
  • population density
  • stress levels
  • mental health issues
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • healthcare facilities
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • psychological well-being
  • recreational areas
  • social networks
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