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Band 6.5

Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

#people #junk #food #lifestyle
Currently, fast
food
 and beverage are the most popular
food
 which is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main reason discussed by
people
 due to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mental and physical health among
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.
This
 essay
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
totally
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
 with the statement that eating more fast
food
 is the most common issue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health. I
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that eating too much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fast
food
 creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
deasease
Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
 and low
brain
 development.
First
, fast
food
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
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 level of
carlories
Correct your spelling
calories
 and sugar rate
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
 obesity and high blood sugar.
People
 argue
that is
 it
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier for them to eat and no need to spend more time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cooking.
For example
, my friend like eating
burgar
Correct your spelling
burglar
burgers
burger
 and fly chicken after work. He rarely
eat
Change the verb form
eats
show examples
 vegetable and
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
exercice
Correct your spelling
exercise
. After 3 months of her habit, her weight
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 over and
over
Correct your spelling
overtime
show examples
time
Add an article
a time
the time
show examples
 period. She become over fat and the doctor
recommend
Change the verb form
recommends
show examples
her
Correct pronoun usage
she
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
stop eating it and try to do more exercise.
Secondly
, fast
food
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 the development of the
brain
. During their time in school, they might need healthy
food
 to eat like
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
, fruit, fish,
meat
Correct word choice
and meat
show examples
 which are very helpful for their
brain
.
In contrast
, they prefer
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy
food
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than healthy
food
. Whenever they eat more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unheathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
healthy
food
, their
brain
 can not improve well.
Then
 it is
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
show examples
 of their body in the future. In conclusion, there are many
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
unheathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
healthy
 foods which
are provide
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bad impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the younger
people
 in horrible
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
 and physical body
develoment
Correct your spelling
development
.
Correct your spelling
I
show examples
In
Correct your spelling
I
show examples
 think that parents should
guiden
Correct your spelling
guide
 their children not to drink or eat more bad
food
 and better to prepare and pack healthy
food
 for them.
Submitted by sedfrtgt on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary habits
  • self-control
  • advertising
  • appealing
  • convenience culture
  • fast food
  • obesity rates
  • nutritional education
  • affordability
  • psychological effects
  • well-being
What to do next:
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