When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, our lives are increasingly developing. Meanwhile, new towns are organised, and many individuals believe that it is crucial to construct more public parks
or sports
facilities
than shopping centres
for people to spend their free time
. In my opinion, I agree that having more public parks
and sports
facilities
is necessary, however
, I disagree that a shopping centre is not as necessary as these facilities
. The following essay will indicate my opinion.
To begin
with, building more public parks
or sports
facilities
is very vital for people to spend their free time
when new towns are planned because the appearance of these facilities
will be a wonderful space for citizens to relax or chill with their friends. In addition
, not only help people reduce stress,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
they help them have better health thanks to places where they can play sports
or do exercises. For example
, public parks
will bring a fresh atmosphere thanks to a lot of green trees in them, so citizens love going to the parks
to see sunrise and sunset or participate in community activities that will help them feel comfortable and well-being. Moreover
, sports
facilities
will help them have the motivation to play sports
and do exercises such
as playing badminton or playing tennis which will make their health better and prevent diseases.
Besides
, shopping centres
are also
essential for them to do in their free time
because buying things that they love on their salary will help them feel happy and satisfied about themselves. Moreover
, they also
have to go shopping regularly to purchase good food and enjoy meals and other necessary things in our lives so having a shopping centre near our house will bring them convenience. For instance
, citizens can go to the shopping centres
to buy rice, fish, meat or delicious dishes and new clothes. They are gifts for them after working very hard.
In conclusion, when new towns are planned, it is crucial to construct more public parks
or sports
facilities
and shopping centres
for individuals to use their free time
because all of them give individuals a better feeling and bring positive effects for them in their lives.Submitted by duongntt.tld on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using additional linking phrases or words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'On the contrary,' or 'In addition to' can help to clearly link different points.
task achievement
For a more comprehensive task response, try to explore both sides of the argument in greater depth. While you have mentioned the advantages of both public parks/sports facilities and shopping centers, a deeper analysis or more specific examples can make your essay stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure to your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively supported your main points with relevant and specific examples, making your arguments more persuasive.