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Band 6

Some people say that dangerous sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #sports
The
games
 which jeopardise
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
life
 should be abrogated.
However
, risky plays fashion
people
 to face
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
difficulties. From my perspective, jeopardising any sports should be aborted. It seems undeniable that human has to play to refresh
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 mind. Man
are
Change the verb form
is
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 very keen to grab any
games
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 very enjoyable to them. Most of the
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 are very
attractive
Replace the word
attracted
show examples
 to take any entertainment
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
 playing any events is one of them. As a consequence, they like to play various kinds of
games
. The play which is very risky must be avoided. Dangerous play trap human
into
Change preposition
in
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 many difficulties. Some
people
 lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
any parts of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 bodies. Some
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to sacrifice their lives to take part
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
 risky play.
Thus
, to prevent
this
 catastrophic
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
 should be banned.
Consequently
,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risky game can strengthen their bodies.
For instance
,
life
 is worth it for humans and it should not be loosened playing any risky
games
.
On the contrary
,
people
 can take the challenge to participate in any jeopardising play.
Moreover
, every human has a family. They have to support their families. By playing risky
games
 they fall their society in danger.
As a result
, their family suffers their whole
life
. The family who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 dependent on the individual persons cannot uplift their positions in the society. They have to earn a lot of money. They have to adopt adequate wealth. In
this
 way, risky
games
 must be avoided as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can create enough harm for anyone.
Nevertheless
, the person who plays a dangerous game can apprehend the reality of
life
. They can figure out any risky situation
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any moment.
For example
, most of the family may get helpless if their main member
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 dangerous play.
On the contrary
,
this
 risky game enriches them into
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 stage. In conclusion, catastrophic play should be restricted.
Conversely
,
people
 need to take challenges to take part in any risky event.
Submitted by Sadiq on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
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