IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people work long hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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This
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 is arguable that whether being busy for several hours with a career has more positive features or observing moderation between work and leisure activities is a better approach. In my opinion,
although
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 there are some perks in prior
such
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 as more job achievements or higher salary, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages as it may be less likely to have the satisfaction of other life's aspects especially, in family relations. On the one hand, there is irrefutable that if you pay attention more to each subject, you may be more likely to gain your expectations.
This
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 fact is true for job prospects too.
Moreover
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, more spending
time
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 in the office, more outcomes you might have.
Furthermore
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, in
this
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 way, people have
this
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 opportunity for improving their expertise and knowledge and at the same
time
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, they take various chances for enhancement and go to higher levels or set up their own job.
For instance
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, the driving force behind the TESLA company was Elon Musk, a hardworking entrepreneur, who dedicated many years of his youth to ambitions.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, it seems social merit, it could be a hide dangerous for family relationships as well as other aspects of personal life dimensions which make people some suitable feelings
such
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 as happiness and overall contentment. owing to working too long, employees usually do not have enough
time
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 for spending with their family, relatives or even themselves.
Therefore
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, it might make them disappointed in the long run. A survey conducted by an Iranian research centre in 2020 showed that more than one-fifth of managers experienced frustration and anxiety because of working under a lot of pressure for too much
time
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. In conclusion, while knowing individuals could have access some successes
as a result
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 of dedicating too many hours in the offices, I would say, the drawbacks are much more than the favourable points as could not upgrade other aspects of lives as well as jobs.
Submitted by z.sheikhnajdi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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