Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Museums
Use synonyms
play a crucial role
in particular
Linking Words
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
show examples
and animals conservation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
also
Linking Words
protect some historical facts. Some of the
museums
Use synonyms
require
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
and others don't. In my eyes, it's really important protecting our
museums
Use synonyms
with permanent maintenance. in the following paragraphs ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss the pros and cons of
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
and show how the advantages outweighed the disadvantages in detail. On the one hand, entrance
fees
Use synonyms
may discourage
people
Use synonyms
from visiting.
For example
Linking Words
, in Egypt which has plenty of historical
museums
Use synonyms
the admission
fees
Use synonyms
of some
museums
Use synonyms
were completely free 20 years ago.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
were taken their children there to show them how was the previous civilization, and to gain more information about history which prompted children to become tourist guides.
However
Linking Words
, the service was not in a good condition, there was no permanent maintenance which has a negative impact on
museums
Use synonyms
. The government
then
Linking Words
restricted the
entry
Use synonyms
and published that
people
Use synonyms
should pay for admission.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
who joined these buildings declined.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, admission charges help
museums
Use synonyms
to protect their collection and build the biggest
museums
Use synonyms
. Following the claim
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have mentioned in the
second
Linking Words
paragraph,the government used the revenue to maintain and renovate
museums
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
year, the authority built the biggest museum in Egypt which has an enormous number of monuments.
Moreover
Linking Words
, revenue supports the authority to excavate new monuments in different locations inside Egypt. In conclusion,
museums
Use synonyms
are one of the most important destinations for tourists.
Entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
have many advantages
such
Linking Words
as protecting
museums
Use synonyms
and keeping them up-to-date which will attract tourists and enhance the country's economy.
Submitted by marowan.selim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: