IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

with the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more recources. to what extend do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
Linking Words
 the increasing demand for fossil fuels, it is said that undiscovered areas should be used in order to obtain more resources. I totally disagree with the suggested statement since opening new spaces to exploitation would cause environmental harm and generate conflicts between powerful countries. The exploitation of spaces that might contain oil and gas will lead to the destruction of the environment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, extracting these forms of energy to supply consumer societies causes important harm to the biosphere of untouched spaces.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the ISO (International Sea Organisation) 2024 study, the group discovered that, since the 2000s, the extraction of fossil resources in protected oceanic places has led to the death of 70% of the surrounding fauna
as well as
Linking Words
 the extinction of certain species of plants. When exploiting new areas full of natural fossil energies, countries desire to have control of these spots.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these states tend to start conflicts in order to claim the locations of their desires.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2011, the ONU estimated that the Arctic sea still possesses more than 60% of natural gas and oil resources in the world. Because of
this
Linking Words
 statement, powerful states near
this
Linking Words
 sought-after place,
such
Linking Words
 as Russia
in addition
Linking Words
 to the United States of America, have started several conflicts in order to conquer the Arctic.
This
Linking Words
 situation illustrates that opening new areas of utilization might create geopolitical tensions.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I wholeheartedly disagree with the suggested statement in consequence of the fact that it does not take into consideration the impact of exploitation on the environment and the geopolitical tensions it might lead to.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To enhance your task response, aim to directly address the question with a balanced view if you partially agree or disagree. While your position is clear, incorporating a brief consideration of the opposing viewpoint before refuting it could strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs using a variety of linking phrases. While your essay is well-structured, increasing the variety of these phrases can make the flow of ideas even smoother. Furthermore, maintain a consistent theme within each paragraph to bolster cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: