IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politicians’ #lives #newspapers
It is argued that publishing information about the personal
life
 of a politician in the newspapers should not be encouraged.
This
 essay partly agrees with
this
 statement because
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 publishing
are projects
Change the verb form
projects
show examples
 them as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
, exposing one's personal
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 is unacceptable and troublesome. On the one hand, politicians are elected by
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 as their
representative
Fix the agreement mistake
representatives
show examples
 to represent their views and obligations to the government and to serve
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 in a professional way.
In addition
, a plethora of youngsters admire the political personalities as their role
model
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models
show examples
 and start following them.
Therefore
, showing the good side of one's own activity
in
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on
show examples
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
 platform and TV news would cause
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their followers,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 gives
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 illustration for their
life
 goal.
For Example
,
Late
Correct article usage
the Late
show examples
 and former president of India,
Mr.
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Mr
show examples
 APJ Abdulkalam is being a great impression
for
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on
show examples
 all youths of the nation,
subsequently
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,subsequently
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous individuals adopted his personal
life
 as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
guidance
Replace the word
guide
show examples
 to lead their
life
 successfully.
On the other hand
, Showcasing ministers family problems in the print media is against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human morality. Even though politician is a famous personality and plays a vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, they would make a choice to keep their intimate matter secretly.
Besides
, sometimes printed news
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to show fallacious information about the authorities, which puts strain on the concerned individual.
For instance
, a person who is successful in the political and public
life
 would have a lot of tragedy and mystery in their past, which they would not prefer to disclose to the world.
Moreover
, spotlighting their personal could exacerbate their
life
. In conclusion, Though revealing
leaders
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leaders'
leader's
show examples
 day-to-day activities among the community would
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
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beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for younger generations, the consequences caused to the leading executives are evil.
Instead
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,Instead
show examples
 it should be kept
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
silence
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silent
show examples
 to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy.
Submitted by s.s.kousalya on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
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