IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politicians’ #lives #newspapers
It is argued that publishing information about the personal
life
 of a politician in the newspapers should not be encouraged.
This
 essay partly agrees with
this
 statement because
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 publishing
are projects
Change the verb form
projects
show examples
 them as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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, exposing one's personal
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 is unacceptable and troublesome. On the one hand, politicians are elected by
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 as their
representative
Fix the agreement mistake
representatives
show examples
 to represent their views and obligations to the government and to serve
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 in a professional way.
In addition
, a plethora of youngsters admire the political personalities as their role
model
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models
show examples
 and start following them.
Therefore
, showing the good side of one's own activity
in
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on
show examples
social
Add an article
the social
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 platform and TV news would cause
positive
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a positive
show examples
 impact
in
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on
show examples
 their followers,
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 gives
good
Add an article
a good
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 illustration for their
life
 goal.
For Example
,
Late
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the Late
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 and former president of India,
Mr.
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Mr
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 APJ Abdulkalam is being a great impression
for
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on
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 all youths of the nation,
subsequently
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,subsequently
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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numerous individuals adopted his personal
life
 as
a
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apply
show examples
guidance
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guide
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 to lead their
life
 successfully.
On the other hand
, Showcasing ministers family problems in the print media is against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human morality. Even though politician is a famous personality and plays a vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, they would make a choice to keep their intimate matter secretly.
Besides
, sometimes printed news
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to show fallacious information about the authorities, which puts strain on the concerned individual.
For instance
, a person who is successful in the political and public
life
 would have a lot of tragedy and mystery in their past, which they would not prefer to disclose to the world.
Moreover
, spotlighting their personal could exacerbate their
life
. In conclusion, Though revealing
leaders
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leaders'
leader's
show examples
 day-to-day activities among the community would
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
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beneficial
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benefit
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 for younger generations, the consequences caused to the leading executives are evil.
Instead
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,Instead
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 it should be kept
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
silence
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silent
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 to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy.
Submitted by s.s.kousalya on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
What to do next:
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