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In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development
Some
people
 believe that in the coming years the percentage of
geriartic
Correct your spelling
geriatric
geriatrics
people
 will
supercede
Correct your spelling
supersede
 in comparison to the younger individuals.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
 cause and why in my opinion it is a negative development. One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
 is the advancement in medical sciences. Due to
invention
Correct article usage
the invention
show examples
 of various vaccines and
drugs
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,drugs
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the diseases are curable nowadays.
Hence
, it
has
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tohas
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to an increase in
life
Correct article usage
the life
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 expectancy of the
people
. In
additition
Correct your spelling
addition
, to
this
 in the present
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
couples are more
career oriented
Add a hyphen
career-oriented
show examples
 and less inclined towards family planning.
Therefore
, it has resulted in low birth rates.
For instance
, in most of the regions of the Japan elderly
people
 are more in number as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults because individuals in these provinces are more
workalcoholic
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work alcoholic
 and they have
less
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fewer
show examples
prioprities
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priorities
 towards family planning. Undoubtedly,
this
 kind of pattern in the population will cause
decline
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a decline
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 in the economy of a nation. Due to
this
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 will be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 job opportunities for the younger
people
 leading to unemployment.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, aged
people
 are more experienced but they are not that energetic and
definitely
Add a comma
,definitely
show examples
 they cannot match with the pace at which the pupils can work which is must
required
Change the verb form
require
be required
show examples
 for boosting a country's economy. Other than
this
,
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
 has to provide more funding if there will be a substantial increase in the population of old
people
 as most of them are dependent. To conclude, with the advances in the field of medicine and less priority of
people
 to have children and
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 family goals there has been a rise in the proportion of aged
people
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I believe it is not a positive development as it will hamper the economy and will halt the growth of a nation.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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