IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cities #people’s #health
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Nowadays, Many
cities
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 are confronted with a
lot
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 of problems due to overpopulation. Some
people
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 think living in big
cities
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 is bad for
people
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’s health. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
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 sentence and I will explain my reason in the following paragraph.
Firstly
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, living in
cities
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 has lots of pollution.
For example
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, Air pollution from a cloud of PM2.5 dust in Bangkok originated from various factors. Some researchers assume from cars on the street emit carbon dioxide and dust. old buses in Bangkok are still driving and servicing
people
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 even if it's emitting a
lot
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 of smoke. Another example, Noise pollution makes
people
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 in
cities
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 confront healths problem. If have a house or condominium on the main road. They will have a problem with louder sounds that make sleepless problems and will affect other health problems.
Secondly
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, Gigantic
cities
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 are overpopulation. Statistically, If the world has an epidemic
such
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 as covid-19. Large
cities
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 will risk being centres of epidemics and have a rate of infections than the countryside.
For example
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, the Covid-19 in France was more infections than in Switzerland because France has a
lot
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 of population than Switzerland and the downtown is crowded with
people
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.
Thirdly
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,
People
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 in
cities
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 are faced with stress more than in the countryside. City society has more competitive than the prefecture. It will make
people
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 feel depressed easily. In conclusion, there are a
lot
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 of reasons to support why
people
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 in big
cities
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 are faced with bad health.
Accordingly
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, There can be more than three reasons existing I can explain in
this
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 essay.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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