Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society, like scientists and teachers, are more successful.

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Certain
individuals
Use synonyms
insist that
people
Use synonyms
who are wealthier are the most successful person in the world. Whereas,
on the other
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hand
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,hand
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there are some
individuals
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who
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
teachers
Use synonyms
and
scientists
Use synonyms
are more successful as they contribute to
society
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. In my opinion, to some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
show examples
I agree with
this
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statement but the other one is quite logical and suitable
that
Correct word choice
which
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I will explain
further
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in the essay.
To begin
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with, most
people
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who are wealthier in our
society
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are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
because they have high
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
due to their high net worth.
Therefore
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, the majority of the
people
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state that
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
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people
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are more flourished as compared to others. Another reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why
people
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support
this
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fact is that many business
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
have
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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quality of lifestyle they have various
levish
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lavish
elvish
products
such
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as
,
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apply
show examples
cars,
bunglows
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bungalows
, and even
jewelleries
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jewellery
pieces of jewellery
show examples
.
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Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
there is no doubt that there are some well-off
individuals
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who work in reputable companies by acquiring
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
. They may
also
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have the quality to run their own businesses. So, to get
this
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position
such
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peoples have high ambitions and experience in their field of job. Due to
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this
Add a comma
,this
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they gain trust, respect, and huge monthly income and
this
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leads to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
a huge contribution
towards
Change preposition
to
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the economy of the
country
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. For, instance nowadays there are many
Add a hyphen
start-up
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start
Change to a plural noun
starts
show examples
up businesses of
such
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reputable
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
who earn good profit and contribute
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, not only business
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
or rich
individuals
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participate in the betterment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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but
also
Linking Words
teachers
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and
scientists
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plays
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play
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
as compared to wealthier
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
. To illustrate
this
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, I agree with the
individuals
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that
says
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say
show examples
that
teachers
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and
scientists
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are more successful because they contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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by
Change preposition
in
show examples
different ways.
This
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means that
teachers
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are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
more knowledgeable and successful in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and
such
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things directly help the
country
Use synonyms
to have more successful entrepreneurs. Another advantage is that professors help the students to learn subjects
such
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as economics which is useful for the betterment of the
country
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, the profession of scientist is now becoming popular as they study various things and they
also
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do
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
scientific research which
help
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helps
show examples
the
country
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to become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better. So,
scientists
Use synonyms
also
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
play an important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the community. For, example many
scientists
Use synonyms
are researching
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to reduce global warming in the world. In conclusion, I would like to say that money is very important for the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
similarly
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knowledge and experience
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
a particular field make the
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
betterment more effective and earlier
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
putting money.
Hence
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, it
differ
Change the verb form
differs
show examples
from person to person and everyone
as
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
their own perspective regarding
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
statements.
Submitted by dumebiugwu1999 on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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