Some people believe that reading stories from stroy book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. What extent do you agree or disagree

Children
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are the backbone of every country.
This
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is argued by a few people
that
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argue that
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it is essential for
children
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if
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apply
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they read a storybook rather than watch television or play
computer
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games
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. I completely agree with the given statement for various reasons
which
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, which
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I discussed in a
further
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essay.
To begin
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with,
The
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the
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first
reason
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why I agree with the given approach is that the storybooks are generally full of inspiration
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. Besides
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besides
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that
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that,
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if
children
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read an inspirational book from
childhood
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childhood,
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they will learn good
things
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. From my perspective, sincerity is a result of the childhood they have been raised in.
Apart from
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this
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, they will grow the habit of reading
which
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, which
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would help them in future.
For instance
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, if a person has a habit of
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reason
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reason,
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then
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that person would not get tired of reading a study book which could help with a great career.
Furthermore
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,
Increment
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an increase
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in vocabulary is the second
reason
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why I believe
children
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should prefer books over TV or
computer
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games
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.
Increment
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An increase
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in vocabulary is the second
reason
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why I believe
children
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should prefer books over TV or
computer
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games
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. Reading a storybook on
the
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a
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daily basis will increase the knowledge of the
language
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.
Such
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as how typical words can be in any
language
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or the sentence structure
and
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, and
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many more
things
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. On one hand,
children
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would get a good grip on
language
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at a young age
due to
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reading
storybooksbooks
Correct your spelling
storybooks
.
On the other hand
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, watching TV or playing
computer
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games
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could harm their eyes
as well as
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their mind
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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if they do
such
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things
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the whole day. In conclusion, even though some folks believe watching television or playing
computer
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games
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could increase the technological knowledge of
children
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, I still believe reading storybooks will not only inspire them
for doing
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to do
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good
things
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but
also
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increase their knowledge of any particular
language
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.

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Task response
Be clear about your view at the start and stay on one main idea to the end.
Coherence
Make the flow easy to read. Use simple links like first, then, also, and in addition.
Coherence
Give one clear example for each idea to show what you mean.
Grammar
Check grammar. fix wrong verb form and round long sentences into small ones.
Lexical
Use such simple words and avoid repeating the same idea many times.
Content
The writer shows a clear wish to see reading as good for kids.
Structure
There is a clear ending that restates the view.
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