IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged.

#people #health #life #style #medicine
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Great
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A great
The great
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 number of people are afflicted with health issues propagated by trending living conditions which
is
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are
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 impossible to be remedied by advanced medicines. Some persons are of the view that
a
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apply
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u
U turn
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U-turn
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 to the ancient
medicine
 should be advocated for.
This
 essay strongly agrees with
this
 view as would be discussed
further
. The ancient
medicine
 which our fathers used
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 very effective in the treatment of various illnesses and
thus
 they were fewer illnesses in their time.
for instance
, when a person falls I'll he is taken to the traditional doctor who takes care of not only the
illnesse
Correct your spelling
illness
illnesses
 but
also
check
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checks
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 out to see if there are other illnesses that may occur in the future and takes care of it
Add a comma
,Further
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Further
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Furthermore
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more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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ancient
medicine
combine
Correct subject-verb agreement
combines
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 dieting in
there
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their
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 treatment which is why they are healthy
and
Correct word choice
apply
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also
 the traditional doctor
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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 their patients
on
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apply
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the intake
of
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apply
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natural fruits and vegetables.
This
 helps in burning excess fat in the body and production of
antioxidant
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antioxidants
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 which
fight
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fights
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 against diseases like cancers. In conclusion, traditional
Medicine
 if reintroduced will go a long way in solving most of the health problems in our world today.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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