Many and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged.

#people #health #life #style #medicine

Great

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A great

The great

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number of people are afflicted with health issues propagated by trending living conditions which

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are

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impossible to be remedied by advanced medicines. Some persons are of the view that

Remove the article

apply

show examples

U turn

Add a hyphen

U-turn

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to the ancient

medicine

should be advocated for.

This

essay strongly agrees with

this

view as would be discussed

further

. The ancient

medicine

which our fathers used

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

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very effective in the treatment of various illnesses and

thus

they were fewer illnesses in their time.

for instance

, when a person falls I'll he is taken to the traditional doctor who takes care of not only the

illnesse

Correct your spelling

illness

illnesses

but

also

check

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checks

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out to see if there are other illnesses that may occur in the future and takes care of it

Add a comma

,Further

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Further

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Furthermore

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Correct quantifier usage

apply

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ancient

medicine

combine

Correct subject-verb agreement

combines

show examples

dieting in

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

treatment which is why they are healthy

and

Correct word choice

apply

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also

the traditional doctor

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

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their patients

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the intake

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apply

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natural fruits and vegetables.

This

helps in burning excess fat in the body and production of

antioxidant

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antioxidants

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which

fight

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fights

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against diseases like cancers. In conclusion, traditional

Medicine

if reintroduced will go a long way in solving most of the health problems in our world today.

Submitted by agozie2018 on Mon May 30 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make ? Has this become a positive or negative development ?

An increasing number of people choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their apperance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.