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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the number of people aged 15 and younger is increasing. What are the present affects of this trend. How will it affect the world in the future?

Nowadays , there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a
expand
Replace the word
expansion
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 in the
number
Use synonyms
 of teenagers below the age of 15 in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 countries. The present
impact
Use synonyms
 will be of few concerns related to
education
Use synonyms
, while in
future
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 would lead to employment and
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
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number
Use synonyms
 of refugees. I will consider the present and
future
Use synonyms
impact
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 given essay. To commence with, today an increase in young people below 15 years of age has an
impact
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 on their
education
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 and Lifestyle. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons to
impact
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their studies and situation.
Firstly
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, there are not enough
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
schools to admit all children. To illustrate it , many lands have limited better schools,
such
Linking Words
 as China has slighted good schools ,
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 children's population is huge .
Consequently
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, all the students do not get quality learning.
Secondly
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, these days, families have many
teen's
Change noun form
teens
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,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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 is becoming difficult to care
and
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for and
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 cater
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 needs of everyone.
For example
Linking Words
, in a few lands where
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
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 have only one child more care can be given to that particular child.
On the other hand
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, the
future
Use synonyms
impact
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 of an increase in young people would lead to unemployment and growth refugees.
This
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 is particularly the case when after completing the
education
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 no career prospects would be there. To illustrate it , for each job in the market, there would be a huge
number
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 of applicants.
As a result
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, unemployment would increase. It can be believed that the rise in migrants would be to developed nations.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Indian people who are unemployed or not satisfied will move to industrialised lands
such
Linking Words
 as Canada ,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 and the USA. I'm conclusion, the rising population of teenagers below 15 years of age has certainly impacted these days and would
impact
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 the
future
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because we have seen the present effect has on
education
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 .
However
Linking Words
future
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 is more concerned
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 employment and Higher emigrants.

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