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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people no longer read newspaper or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #newspaper #tv #programs #news #world #internet #development
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Numerous
people
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 nowadays are more interested in getting
news
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 from the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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instead
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 of
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 or TV programs. As far as I am concerned, the benefits of using the
internet
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 as a way to obtain
news
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 can outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, it is more convenient for the public to get information through the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. As it seems impossible to watch TV programs outside the house or read newspapers
while
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 they are walking,
people
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 can actually check the report everywhere online with their phones.
For example
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, they can read the
news
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while
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 they are waiting for the bus or in the cafe.
As a result
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, a more comprehensive view of the current situation of the world can be obtained once
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society has varied pathways to getting information.
On the other hand
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, some argue that the fake
news
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 introduced on the
internet
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 can misguide the community easily. As
people
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 can publish whatever they like and take no responsibility behind the screen, more and more fake statements will be exposed to citizens.
For instance
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, financial instability may be caused if the public believes the unreliable predictions of
stoke
Correct article usage
the stoke
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 market issued on the
internet
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.
Therefore
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, the widespread of misleading messages can bring huge attention which results in a negative effect on both individuals and society once
people
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 are gullible. In conclusion,
although
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 the message spread by the
internet
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 can be dangerous and risky
due to
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 the lack of supervision, it can still benefit
people
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 owing to the various kinds of platforms which give them a chance to broaden their horizons.
Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on

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Task Response
Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the counter-argument and presenting a stronger conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and cohesive devices to better connect ideas and improve overall coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Democratizes access to information
  • Real-time updates
  • Misinformation
  • Diverse range of sources
  • Multiple perspectives
  • Critical thinking
  • Reinforce biases
  • Information overload
  • Decline of traditional media
  • Innovation and adaptation
  • Interactive forms of news consumption
  • Engagement
  • Echo chambers
  • Unverified information
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