IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
We are living in an ever-changing world, witnessing the appearance of new businesses
as well as
Linking Words
 the disappearance of others. The question given is whether the leaders of these businesses should be paid higher salaries than other employees. In my opinion, they should make more
money
Use synonyms
, and I will elucidate the reasons in the following paragraphs.
First,
Linking Words
the executives have various skills to run a
company
Use synonyms
 smoothly.
For example
Linking Words
, problem-solving, decision-making, and communication. They face daily changes in the market that have both positive and negative impacts on the
company
Use synonyms
, so they must have the ability to deal with them and make the right decisions on time, or use communication skills to negotiate favourable terms for the
company
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will bring huge
money
Use synonyms
 and benefits for the
company
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they should receive suitable rewards for their effort.
Second,
Linking Words
CEOs are experienced people. To stand in
this
Linking Words
 position, they have gone through numerous challenges and sacrifices.
For instance
Linking Words
, when addressing a problem, they may make a decision that will cost them their own
money
Use synonyms
 or even be held responsible by the court.
Such
Linking Words
 pressures are not something that anyone can take on and overcome. Admittedly, a business ship apart from the talented leaders needs other workers to sail. Everyone has an integral part in making a successful business.
However
Linking Words
, without the leaders, who will make plans for developing
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and tasks for every worker in that business
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In conclusion, the top executives, with their skills and experience, make the
company
Use synonyms
 grow and prosper.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is obvious that they make more
money
Use synonyms
 than other employees.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
To further improve your essay, ensure that your examples are more specific and directly related to the topic. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
While your essay is well-structured overall, consider refining your introduction to make your thesis statement clearer. This will set a strong foundation for your essay.
logical structure
Your essay is generally well-organized, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
You demonstrate a good command of language, using appropriate vocabulary and varied sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
What to do next:
Look at other essays: