IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#people #advertisements #products #lives #support
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Nowadays someone believed that they
are buy
Change the verb form
are buying
show examples
 some unnecessary thing by
effect
Add an article
the effect
show examples
 of the
advertisement
Use synonyms
 but some other one said
advertisement
Use synonyms
 help them to find new products
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 improve their life, I totally agree with the
second
Linking Words
 view, which has
support
Wrong verb form
supported
show examples
 me to find new
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 may have
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
change
Correct your spelling
changed
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 my lifestyle during the time.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
new and invented product come to the market by a group of factories in the world. Advertisements
such
Linking Words
 as physical and digital not only help the
people
Use synonyms
 to aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it but
also
Linking Words
 help companies to
increasing
Change the verb form
increase
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 the rate of selling in the market.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
,Unfortunately
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 some of
adv
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the adv
show examples
 agency
work
Use synonyms
 to affect
people
Use synonyms
 buy
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 without make benefit for
buyer
Add an article
the buyer
show examples
. In 2019 when
Correct article usage
the Corona
show examples
Corona virus
Correct your spelling
Coronavirus
show examples
 came and changed the type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, every
people
Use synonyms
 in the world used to buy
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 with just
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 online
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
At
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 that time,
Me
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 same
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 must
work
Use synonyms
 remotely and my
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 related to the digital facilities devices
such
Linking Words
 as
scanner
Fix the agreement mistake
scanners
show examples
 and
printer
Fix the agreement mistake
printers
show examples
, so I decided to road some comments and saw
online
Add an article
an online
show examples
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 to find
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best choice for me. Fortunately, it
is
Change the verb form
works
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 better than when I shop in the mall and spend a lot of time in the traditional
bazar
Change the capitalization
Bazar
bazaar
show examples
. In conclusion, advertisements are made to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and factories. So, it is important to filter them and find a way to
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 correctly by updating their knowledge about the new factories and
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
 to the market routinely.
Submitted by s15.jalilnejad on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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