Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little efect on public health and that others measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
While
a considerable amount of people
believe that developing more sports areas will have a good effect on citizens
well-being, others suppose that no significant changes will be made.
An active lifestyle can truly increase our Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
health
, at least that is
what we have been told. One of the main reasons why people
usually skip their fitness training is simply, the lack of proper sports facilities, no one wants to go for 20 minutes then
have a training, become exhausted and in addition
have 20 of
minutes walk, Change preposition
apply
people
are too lazy for it. If we want to induce them to be more active, then
we have to make it easily accessible. Despite the previous issues, we still encounter with
top excuse number 2, the lack of desire or motivation, which some of us would say plays a significant role. We won’t be able to gain it by doubling the number of needed areas. If Change preposition
apply
people
truly want something, then
they will do it no matter of
what
Sport isn't the only pivotal part of human Change preposition
apply
health
and developing new facilities won't erase the problem of unhealthy habits, such
as drinking alcohol or eating junk food. That's true, it isn't enough just to be an active person in order to stay healthy. There are plenty of stories where humans decided to start jogging and thus
improve their liver condition.
To sum up
briefly, in my opinion, developing new sports areas will improve public health
being, but I do not believe that these will make a huge impact on citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
health
, as other measures are needed.Submitted by dashasokolova068 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but the ideas could be better organized with clearer paragraphing.
coherence cohesion
A range of cohesive devices are used. However, the progression of ideas is not always logical and can be confusing at times.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be further developed to more effectively introduce the topic and summarize the main points.
task achievement
You addressed the task to some degree and provided a personal opinion, yet it needs to be more fully developed with a clearer position throughout the essay.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be expanded into clearer and more comprehensive arguments. Utilize paragraphing to structure your essay into clear introductions, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
There is a lack of relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Drawing on such examples can improve the effectiveness of your arguments.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?