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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Behaviour in schools is getting worse. Explain the causes and effects of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

#behaviour #schools #effects
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Nowadays we can notice that the discipline of
students
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 in school is much worse than before. Sadly,
this
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 tendency is getting even more actual day by day and we are obliged to search for solutions
of
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to
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this
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problem
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. But before we start to think about possible ways for solving
this
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problem
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 we must learn more about the roots of that
problem
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. The
first
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 cause is obvious and simply - the times when schools were the place of high knowledge are
past
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passed
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 in the present it’s not some kind of
privelege
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privilege
 now because
governmets
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governments
are mostly offer
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are mostly offered
are mostly offering
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 free or very cheap ways for children to study in school.
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Second
Correct article usage
The second
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 reason caused by the
first
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, total freedom for
students
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 sounds good but will never work like it
supposed
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is supposed
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 to be. After we found out the possible reasons
of
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for
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 bad
behavior
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behaviour
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 in school we can start to think
how
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about how
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 to solve these problems. Would be great to return
old
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to old
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 traditions of
educations
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education
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 in our century but
such
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 a big step is almost impossible for
vast
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the vast
a vast
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 amount of countries. In that case, we should find more realistic ways
for
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of
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problem solving
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problem-solving
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. I offer the slight reformation in
global
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a global
the global
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 educational system where
students
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diciplined
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disciplined
students
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 will be separated from mad ones. Another and probably the
most hard
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hardest
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 to solve
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problem
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the problem
a problem
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 is that
governements
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governments
 don’t want to spend a lot of money
for
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on
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 any reforms and
this
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problem
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impossible
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is impossible
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 to resolve. To sum it
, on
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up, on
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 our level in
country’s
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the country’s
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 laws system we can’t decide how to improve even
behaviors
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behaviours
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 of our
students
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 because it causes only more
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. I can only advise
to
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you to
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 spend more time with your child and learn
him
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about him
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 or her
dicipline
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discipline
 and rights of
behavior
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behaviour
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 in society.
Submitted by vktory45 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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