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Band 4.5

Behaviour in schools is getting worse. Explain the causes and effects of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

#behaviour #schools #effects
Nowadays we can notice that the discipline of
students
 in school is much worse than before. Sadly,
this
 tendency is getting even more actual day by day and we are obliged to search for solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
. But before we start to think about possible ways for solving
this
problem
 we must learn more about the roots of that
problem
. The
first
 cause is obvious and simply - the times when schools were the place of high knowledge are
past
Replace the word
passed
show examples
 in the present it’s not some kind of
privelege
Correct your spelling
privilege
 now because
governmets
Correct your spelling
governments
are mostly offer
Change the verb form
are mostly offered
are mostly offering
show examples
 free or very cheap ways for children to study in school.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
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 reason caused by the
first
, total freedom for
students
 sounds good but will never work like it
supposed
Add a missing verb
is supposed
show examples
 to be. After we found out the possible reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in school we can start to think
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
 to solve these problems. Would be great to return
old
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to old
show examples
 traditions of
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 in our century but
such
 a big step is almost impossible for
vast
Add an article
the vast
a vast
show examples
 amount of countries. In that case, we should find more realistic ways
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
. I offer the slight reformation in
global
Add an article
a global
the global
show examples
 educational system where
students
diciplined
Correct your spelling
disciplined
students
 will be separated from mad ones. Another and probably the
most hard
Change the adjective
hardest
show examples
 to solve
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
 is that
governements
Correct your spelling
governments
 don’t want to spend a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any reforms and
this
problem
impossible
Add a missing verb
is impossible
show examples
 to resolve. To sum it
, on
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up, on
show examples
 our level in
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 laws system we can’t decide how to improve even
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 of our
students
 because it causes only more
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. I can only advise
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
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 spend more time with your child and learn
him
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about him
show examples
 or her
dicipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 and rights of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in society.
Submitted by vktory45 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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