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Band 4

Some people argue that because the Internet makes it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. Instead, they should focus on developing children’s skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #internet #children #access #facts #schools #focus #children’s #skills #relationships
There is a growing discussion that these days
could
Wrong verb form
people can
show examples
 study by themselves through online spaces
due to
 the development of technology
such
 as the Internet.
Therefore
, the style of teaching intuitions should
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 rather specific to practical skills than providing academic knowledge, and I completely agree with the statement. The main reason is that
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will prepare youngsters after their graduation. To elaborate, in reality, workplaces require soft skills more than hard skills
such
 as communication, management, building relationships, etc.
For instance
, collaborating with team members, the best of learning
this
 is we have to actually participate in a real situation since we must acknowledge how to
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 with others so that we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 completely understand.
Furthermore
, the level of familiarity with these actions could be gained from training for many years,
for instance
, an academy may include doing projects in the course. In fact, it might be 40% teaching and 60% letting scholars utilize their knowledge with their friends. And for these reasons, educational places should transform their teaching style. Another viewpoint is it can inspire young people to figure out what they aspire to do in the future earlier. In general, most of them couldn’t perceive their career path because they recognize studying facts
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 extremely intense and assume that it would be true for doing as a career as well.
Therefore
, if schools could insert some activities to make classes more appealing,
this
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 spark youngsters’ interest
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
when they grow up.
For example
, at my University, they have simulation activities,
that is
, enable students to role-play a position in a company. After I finished the course, I was
also
 fascinated to
incorporate
Verb problem
learn
show examples
 more about the position. Given the situation, it is imperative that educational places should reduce providing facts and increase learning by doing. These are good for children’s future
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task response
The essay demonstrates a basic level of understanding of the task. The response addresses the question, but the ideas are not fully developed and lack clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the overall logical structure needs improvement. The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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