IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that governments should spend on new public buildings, such as libraries and museums, rather than renovating old buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is highly debatable that authorities should spend
money
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 on the construction of the new public libraries and museums. Some people are in its favour whereas others opine that funds should be allocated for the renovation of old
buildings
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 because these are heritage. I partially agree with the above notion and will explain
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, if governments spend
money
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 on new
buildings
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 like libraries and museums, it will bring more safety. Spending
money
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 on seeking help from many architects and geological scientists before the construction of public
buildings
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 can make these
buildings
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 more durable.
In addition
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, new
buildings
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 can easily access the new technology to gain the interest of viewers around the globe.
For example
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, a survey conducted by The Guardian newspaper in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 2015 revealed that a large number of tourists were attracted to the newly constructed public
buildings
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 when governments provided many facilities like Wi-fi and escalators in
such
Linking Words
buildings
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.
On the other hand
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, there are many reasons why some people are in favour of spending
money
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 on old
buildings
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. Primarily, old
buildings
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 are the heritage of any nation and these can be a base root to connect the sentiments of the new generation with their ancestors.
Hence
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, it will enhance patriotic feelings among young ones if authorities allocate a considerable fund to renovate old
buildings
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.
Moreover
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, old
buildings
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 can assist the new generation to understand and observe not only the lifestyle of that time but
also
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 give a vast knowledge of their various artistic methods. To conclude, in my opinion, the government should spend
money
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 on both new and old
buildings
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 because both are important for society.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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