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Band 5.5

Nowadays most green lifestyle is becoming more and more popular in both developed and developing countries. Some argue it greatly is better for the environment. Others believe that changing one's lifestyle is too ambitious. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#lifestyle #countries #argue #environment
In recent times green
lifestyle
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 the most considerable one in the world. Some people believe that it is difficult to change their existing,
while
 others argue that it should be better for the environment, especially, for pollution reduction. Both points of view and my reason why I agree with the latter agreement will be elaborated on in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it might be sensible for some to believe that a green
lifestyle
 is hard for people to change their old
lifestyle
.
This
 is
possibly
Replace the adverb
possible
show examples
 because they consider that they have more effort to learn new things and change their habits. Electric car in Thailand,
for example
, is not
popular
Rephrase
as popular
show examples
 as expected, even though there are many benefits from the government. From
this
 perspective, it is understandable why some would believe that changing one's
lifestyle
 is too ambitious.
However
, opponents might argue that green products can help to preserve the environment by significantly reducing pollution and carbon gases. Installation of solar panel in Japan,
for instance
, help the public to save 80% of their current bills and reduce carbon emission in the air.
As a result
, they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 carbon-free in the air and
reduced
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the costs of electricity. I would personally argue in favour of changing a green
lifestyle
 for the ecological benefit in the long run. My reasoning is that,
in addition
 to protecting the environment, scientists could conduct research on them to explore many green products and attempt to use renewable resources. Numerous
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 breakthroughs,
such
 as clothes from plastic waste,
for example
, were able to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressing environmental issues
due to
this
 technology can
be reduced
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 emissions and is used whenever there is a shortage of natural
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
 it is undeniable that changing a green
lifestyle
 is too difficult to learn new things, I am of the opinion that society as a whole can reap great benefits from them.
Submitted by marisa.ge789 on

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coherence and cohesion
The candidate has presented a logical structure, however, some areas could have been more cohesive. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. Improvement can be made by using a better choice of connectives and conjunctions to link ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
The candidate successfully presents an introduction and conclusion which clearly indicate the direction of the essay. The overall position is clear and well supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Specific examples have been provided to support main points, although some points may require more specific or varied examples to add depth to the argument.
lexical resource
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, however, some concepts were less precise or slightly incorrectly used. The candidate should focus on coherence in expressing ideas, defining the context clearly before presenting the arguments, and making sure that the sentence formation, as well as the tenses, are accurate.
grammatical range
The candidate has made some basic grammatical errors and the sentence formation needs to be worked upon. Better sentence construction would aid in relaying the thoughts more effectively. The use of grammatical range could be improved. The candidate should carefully revise grammar, syntax and punctuation rules.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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