IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is thought by some specialists that starting learning a
second
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language
Use synonyms
 at the primary level is better than at the secondary level. I think the downside of
this
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 outweighs the upside because young
pupils
Use synonyms
 may have a great workload
as a result
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. On the one hand, young
pupils
Use synonyms
 are better
language
Use synonyms
 learners than older ones. Primary school-aged children are at an early stage of learning and
therefore
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 tend to be very open to new ideas. That to say, they are less likely to find the
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 pronunciation and grammar of a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 strange and difficult to learn than their counterparts
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 secondary school.
However
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, I do not think
this
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 gives them a major advantage in life because many people become successful either financially or professionally, without mastering a
second
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language
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, studying a new
language
Use synonyms
 at primary school can greatly increase young
pupils
Use synonyms
' workloads. One more
language
Use synonyms
 to learn means more classes to take and more school work to do.
For instance
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, in Egypt, where English is compulsory at all primary schools. Egyptian
pupils
Use synonyms
 spent often around half an hour every weekday just on their English homework.
Moreover
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 , to outperform their peers, many of them join weekend English classes.
Consequently
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, I think
this
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 puts young
pupils
Use synonyms
 at a great disadvantage because
at
Add the comma(s)
,at
show examples
this
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 age, they should spend more time enjoying leisure activities than burying themselves in academic tasks. In conclusion,
although
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 primary school-aged children tend to be good at acquiring a foreign
language
Use synonyms
, I believe
this
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 advantage is far outweighed by the disadvantages of the heavy workloads that come with it.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
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