IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #jobs #employees
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Even after the decades of ,modernisation I can clearly say with credence, that in most of the rich countries, has been always rich and the poor have been always poor, even after lots of great support and changes by the government.In my ,opinion job is the main cause of it, by favouring wealthy
people
Use synonyms
 with the better jobs without knowing their skills which land to leaving behind the poor
people
Use synonyms
 assuming them as a lesser privilege.
Firstly
Linking Words
,in my opinion, I believe that it's important for rich
people
Use synonyms
 to give jobs to skilled and knowledgeable employees from the poor regions, because it may bring a large scale of development which they have never aspect.
For instance
Linking Words
,even if the rich state has their own skilled and high knowledge employer, they are not the same as a skilled employer from poor land because these
people
Use synonyms
 are more hard-working and loyal to what they are doing with the perfect goal in their mindset.
As a result
Linking Words
, it brings a better environment and trust among workers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the way the poor state thinks can be very helpful and logical.
For example
Linking Words
, to improve a
country
Use synonyms
 we have to be able to think from both the aspects of rich and poor,
therefore
Linking Words
 being from poor states, these employers know what is the weakness of the
country
Use synonyms
 and how to tackle the hardest problems due to their experience.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
likewise
Linking Words
 in ladhak being one of the small developing states in ,India there was a scarcity of water, but one teacher has invented a method to save water for whole the year which has been a great benefit for them. In conclusion, I want to reiterate that if we want to develop one
country
Use synonyms
, it's very important to give jobs to skilled and knowledgeable employers from the poor regions than giving
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 a rich
country
Use synonyms
's executives without any skill and knowledge.
Submitted by obinna.omeoga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: