IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples.

#people #globalisation #companies #effect #environment
In the modern era, globalisation is helping to bring the number of international organisations across the country.
Therefore
, a fair amount of experts believe that most of the environmental issues are being affected by these companies only.
Hence
, I would like to agree with
this
 statement with a few sets of relevant examples.
Firstly
, an Organisation is a combination of material and technology equipment.
In addition
, these materials will be used to produce a finished product.
On the other hand
,
while
 producing the finished product there will be substantial wastage coming from the manufacturing process.
Secondly
, the entire packing and supply are happening by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
 bags only and these are becoming inevitable issues
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our environment.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phone or computer packing bags
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a life span of 1000 years which may be a potential risk to all of us. As per
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 survey
Google
Change preposition
of Google
show examples
 findings, 90% of pollution is generated by industrial companies which
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from different countries only.
However
, undoubtedly, we cannot imagine any production process without
plastic
 material. In some of the production processes,
plastic
 is one of the significant items which cannot be avoided at any cost.
such
 as how can we produce a pen or table without
plastic
? and these are being imported from other multinational companies only. In order to reduce the impact, the government should come up with some strong eco policies and put a ban on a few
plastic
 items and
this
 would help the local environment and the rest of the world as well.
To sum up
, one must know what they are making in their company. No matter whether it
can be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 local or international.
At the end
 of the day, it is all about our environment and we should keep it safe and secure.
Submitted by lakshma999 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
In the introduction, provide a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. Develop the main points in separate paragraphs to improve organization and clarity.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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