IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #choices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
After the development of the industrial revolution,
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy many entertainments and benefits. I firmly agree with the statement that we have a wide variety of options nowadays.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy more
products
Use synonyms
 than before due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization. The supply chain between international companies creates more advanced and modern
products
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the publics
show examples
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
 to select.
For example
Linking Words
, Apple designs iPhones in California and
produces
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 Asia. Without
supply
Correct article usage
a supply
show examples
 chain, we might have to buy iPhones produced
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America.
As a result
Linking Words
, the price might be more
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
show examples
 than now.
Moreover
Linking Words
, since the internet is unlimited by
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
boarders
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 can take many courses provided by world well-known
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 online,
such
Linking Words
 as Harvard University, Cambridge University, and so on.
In addition
Linking Words
, it was hard to travel abroad a hundred years ago. Planes were easily crashed at that time. After the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, we can now take safer and faster planes to travel abroad.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 have problems
to communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
show examples
 with local residents, they can use google translate to eliminate their language barriers.
Besides
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 want to invest in financial
products
Use synonyms
, they can invest in stocks, notes, bonds, or even cryptocurrencies, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 invented just a decade ago. The diverse choices broaden their financial portfolios.
Finally
Linking Words
, there are many applications of
block chains
Correct your spelling
blockchains
show examples
 that not only decrease companies' expenditures on labour
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 provide customers with
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 convenient life.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the transactions can be done by smart contracts, which are built automatically by
Correct your spelling
blockchains
show examples
block chains
Correct your spelling
blockchains
show examples
. These
products
Use synonyms
 were impossible in the past. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 benefit from the development and enjoy many advantages. For me, I definitely agree with the statement that we have too many options to choose
nowadays
Change preposition
from nowadays
show examples
.
Submitted by vivian.88610 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: