IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

After the development of the industrial revolution,
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy many entertainments and benefits. I firmly agree with the statement that we have a wide variety of options nowadays.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
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 enjoy more
products
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 than before due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization. The supply chain between international companies creates more advanced and modern
products
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the publics
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publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
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 to select.
For example
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, Apple designs iPhones in California and
produces
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produce
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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 Asia. Without
supply
Correct article usage
a supply
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 chain, we might have to buy iPhones produced
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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America.
As a result
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, the price might be more
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
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 than now.
Moreover
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, since the internet is unlimited by
Correct your spelling
borders
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boarders
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borders
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,
people
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 can take many courses provided by world well-known
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 online,
such
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 as Harvard University, Cambridge University, and so on.
In addition
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, it was hard to travel abroad a hundred years ago. Planes were easily crashed at that time. After the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, we can now take safer and faster planes to travel abroad.
Furthermore
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, if
people
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 have problems
to communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
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 with local residents, they can use google translate to eliminate their language barriers.
Besides
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, if
people
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 want to invest in financial
products
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, they can invest in stocks, notes, bonds, or even cryptocurrencies, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 invented just a decade ago. The diverse choices broaden their financial portfolios.
Finally
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, there are many applications of
block chains
Correct your spelling
blockchains
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 that not only decrease companies' expenditures on labour
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 provide customers with
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 convenient life.
For instance
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, most of the transactions can be done by smart contracts, which are built automatically by
Correct your spelling
blockchains
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block chains
Correct your spelling
blockchains
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. These
products
Use synonyms
 were impossible in the past. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 benefit from the development and enjoy many advantages. For me, I definitely agree with the statement that we have too many options to choose
nowadays
Change preposition
from nowadays
show examples
.

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