IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? Angsa

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he
Correct determiner usage
The
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 growing global demand for
oil
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 and
gas
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 has led some people to argue that unexplored regions should be opened for resource extraction.
While
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this
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 approach may help satisfy short-term
energy
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 needs and stimulate economic growth, I strongly disagree because it poses serious environmental risks and discourages investment in cleaner alternatives. Those who support expanding
oil
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 and
gas
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 exploration contend that fossil fuels remain the backbone of the global economy. Many industries, including transportation, manufacturing, and electricity generation, still rely heavily on these
energy
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 sources. Opening previously inaccessible areas could increase supply, reduce dependence on imported fuel, and create employment opportunities.
Furthermore
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, countries with newly discovered reserves may experience substantial economic benefits through higher government revenue and improved infrastructure. Despite these advantages, I believe the long-term consequences far outweigh the immediate gains. Extracting fossil fuels from untouched regions often results in habitat destruction, biodiversity loss, and pollution, causing irreversible damage to fragile ecosystems.
In addition
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, expanding
oil
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 and
gas
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 production contradicts global efforts to combat climate change by increasing greenhouse
gas
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 emissions.
Instead
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 of investing billions in new drilling projects, governments should allocate resources to renewable
energy
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 technologies
such
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 as solar, wind, and hydroelectric power. These alternatives are becoming increasingly efficient and can provide a more sustainable and environmentally responsible solution to future
energy
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 demands
while
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 creating new economic opportunities. In conclusion,
although
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 opening undiscovered areas for
oil
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 and
gas
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 extraction may temporarily strengthen
energy
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 security and economic development, I believe it is ultimately an unsustainable strategy. The environmental costs are too significant, and continued reliance on fossil fuels delays the transition to cleaner sources of
energy
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.
Therefore
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, governments should prioritise renewable
energy
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 investment rather than exploiting the world's remaining untouched natural areas

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, add one or two more real or clear examples.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are strong, but some points are general. Try to explain one idea a little more deeply.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each part has a clear job. To improve, use a few more linking words inside body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your paragraphs are well planned. To get a higher score, make the move between ideas even smoother with short linking phrases.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and clearly show that you disagree.
task response
For task response, your ideas stay on topic and are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas are in a good order, so the reader can follow them easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • oil and gas
  • undiscovered areas
  • exploration
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable energy
  • renewable resources
  • economic growth
  • habitat destruction
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • technological advancements
  • sustainable extraction
  • conservation efforts
  • energy security
  • fossil fuels
  • resource management
  • geopolitical implications
  • energy transition
  • resource depletion
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