IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Is fame good or bad Give your own opinions and discuss both view

#fame
While some individuals believe that it is good to be popular, there are other opponents
firmly
Correct pronoun usage
who firmly
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 support the opposite
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In my following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I would take both under consideration but emphasize more
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my agreement
toward
Change preposition
with
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 the former opinion. Other and individually myself
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
believe fame is good mainly because it is beneficial for our life.
For instance
, many celebrities try to be scandalous to get more public attention.
Therefore
, it brings them more jobs and higher salaries.
Otherwise
, many
people
 use their popularity to benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
People
 who are famous often have
impact
Add an article
an impact
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 on the community that they can use to spread good messages that raise
Correct article usage
the public’s
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public’s
Change noun form
public
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 awareness.
In addition
, they can call
people
 to donate
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charity funds giving to
people
 who need
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
On the other hand
, there are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 for
people
 to think bad about fame.
For instance
, Taylor Swift is famous for her talents and beauty
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 brings her the love of fans and money.
However
,
people
keeps
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
 following and stalking her which gives her no privacy in her personal life.
Moreover
, some
people
 want to be famous so bad that they only care about their social
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
instead
 of their real life.
This
 leads to a group of
people
 who always use their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and do not care about their friends and family. In conclusion, being famous has many benefits that can not be rejected. In spite of some disadvantages, I think everyone should have a good reputation in their community.
Submitted by hangglinhh on

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