Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #cities #towns #spaces

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Human diseases related to sedentary lifestyles are rising.

Therefore

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, to address the problem, some people suggest that the government should implement policies to increase public open

spaces

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to encourage people to become more involved in physical activities. I totally agree with

this

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idea, and I will explain the reason in the following paragraph.

First

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, due to the global urbanisation trend, towns and cities are becoming densely populated urban areas.

As a result

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, the demand for accommodation is growing, leading to the decline of open public places.

In addition

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, people’s activities are often associated with sitting still, ranging from working at their desks to playing computer games or mobile phones all day.

Consequently

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, we are suffering from

health

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problems

such

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as gaining weight or even obesity.

Secondly

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, spending a lot of time indoors may lead to mental diseases

such

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as autism or depression. According to medical experts, these issues can be alleviated by doing exercises in the fresh air,

such

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as walking or running in parks. Especially if we do

this

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with our friends, the outcome will be more efficient.

Besides

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, participating in activities in outdoor

spaces

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will improve people’s

health

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and prevent diseases. Admittedly, utilising

spaces

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for housing is important owing to the accommodation deficit, which is increasing.

In particular

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, in developing countries

such

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as Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia,

this

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is becoming more and more serious.

However

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, human

health

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is a vital factor;

thus

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, it is worth heavily investing in it. To summarise, without good physical and mental

health

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, we cannot make property for ourselves and contribute to building an affluent country.

Hence

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, investing in public

spaces

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is an investment in our future.

Submitted by thientrang1616 on Fri Jun 03 2022

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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