IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In order to study at University, students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them, so, some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do u agree / disagree?

#study #university #students #tuition #fees #people #education
It is argued by some that undergraduates needed to pay exorbitant school fees
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Although
, not all
college
 students can meet the expense whereas others believe that tertiary
education
 ought to
Add a missing verb
be made
show examples
made
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
 accessible for all at no
cost
. In my
opibion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I agree that formal
education
 should be free.
Firstly
, it makes
education
 fair for everyone.
In other words
, everyone will be able to afford
college
Correct article usage
a college
show examples
education
 and can go to
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 of their choice irrespective of their social class.
For instance
, in Sweden varsity
education
 is
cost free
Add a hyphen
cost-free
show examples
 for all citizens and foreigners in the country giving each member of the nation the opportunity to learn in any
college
 of his choice.
Hence
 bridging the gap between the poor and the rich.
Secondly
, there would be
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 educated population.
This
 means that if more people could afford
college
, many
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
 would probably
attended
Change the verb form
attend
be attended
show examples
.
As a result
increasig
Correct your spelling
increasing
 the literacy rate in the country and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 economic power. Admittedly, it is true that
high
Add a hyphen
high-cost
show examples
cost
 tuition fee
is require
Change the verb form
is required
show examples
 for financing.
This
 is because there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 to pay the staff and
administrayion
Correct your spelling
administration
, as well ad the overhead
cost
 to keep the campus running.
However
, not all freshmen can afford the charges. In conclusion,
low
Add a hyphen
low-cost
show examples
cost
 varsity training is a must for any society that values equality and economic growth.
Submitted by hydheraa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: