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The only way to improve road safety is to impose severe punishments for driving offences. Do you agree or disagree?

#road #safety #punishments #offences
Nowadays, dealing with the development of
roads’
Change noun form
roads
show examples
 safety has become a major problem worldwide. In some countries, severe punishments have been imposed for driving offences.
However
, I strongly believe that it is not the best solution to prevent
car
 accidents on the roads. The effects of proper instruction, hardening the
test
 of the driving license for fresh candidates, and increase
of
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apply
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roads’ quality might considerably have better results that will be discussed
through
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in
show examples
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs.
Firstly
, nearly any driver needs to be instructed about driving techniques and different conditions of driving a
car
 even though they have received a driving license. As an example, in Vancouver, which is famous for
low
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the low
a low
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 rate of
car
Add an article
a car
the car
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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,
people
 see instructions and alerts about safe driving nearly everywhere
such
 as
city
Change preposition
in city
show examples
 advertisements and television programs. In fact, the more we are aware of the danger of driving offences, the more carefully we drive on the roads.
Consequently
,
Add a hyphen
well-instructed
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well instructed
Add a hyphen
well-instructed
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people
 drive concisely which will prevent them to experience
car
accident
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accidents
show examples
 on roads.
Secondly
, as the procedure of getting
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
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 license
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 harder,
people
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 ability of driving make it to pass the driving
test
. Statistics reveal that after applying major changes in driving
test
 fundamentals in Canada, the rate of
car
 accidents declined in 1951. It’s clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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people
 who have passed the
test
 successfully would be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 due to having more practical and harder tests. In conclusion, manipulating the procedures of driving exams and giving candidates more challenging
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 would be a proper solution which has shown its results formerly.
Finally
, old vehicles sometimes might be difficult to control. Based on police statistics, nearly 72
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
car
Add an article
a car
the car
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 accident in 2021 was for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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automobiles
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
produced before 1995.
In other words
, drivers have more ability to control the vehicle in new-brand cars. To summarize, I believe that well instruction of
people
, more challenging driving tests, and replacing old vehicles with new ones are the best solutions for improving road safety. I believe that there would be better solutions in the future
such
 as the development of cars with artificial intelligence,
however
Add a comma
,however
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 currently we can not rely on
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 and unexperimented ways.
Submitted by mehrad.aghaei on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • reckless behavior
  • psychological deterrence
  • adhere
  • penalties
  • awareness campaigns
  • knowledge and skills
  • technological solutions
  • advanced safety features
  • automatic braking systems
  • lane departure warnings
  • traffic surveillance
  • enforce laws
  • socio-economic impact
  • disproportionately
  • broader social issues
  • community engagement
  • road safety culture
  • collective responsibility
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