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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that students should be taught International news as a subject at schools. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #news #schools #waste #school #time
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Some individuals think that international
news
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 should be one of a
subject
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 in schools, while others disagree and think that it would be a waste of time. From my point of
view
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, I agree with the former point of
view
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 and think that learning about international
news
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 can
also
Linking Words
 give many benefits to
children
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. In the following
paragraphs
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,paragraphs
show examples
 both of these viewpoints and my opinion will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, there are some people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
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 that international
news
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 or the important event that occurs in the world is crucial and
children
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 should learn that to know what has happened
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these day
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this day
these days
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.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some
children
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 might
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not understand the whole story because some
news
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 may involve
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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complicated and delicate issues,
children
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 should have known some idea of
these
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this news
show examples
news
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 in order to get familiar with the issue that have
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in real life.
For instance
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, the event of Russia's war with Ukraine that
have
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has
show examples
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
 recently,
children
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 may have nothing to do with it but they should have learned and
get
Wrong verb form
gotten
show examples
 some
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 from
this
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 event,
such
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 as we should not use violence to solve the problem. In my
personally
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personal
show examples
 opinion, I think it would be a great idea
students
Change preposition
for students
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 have learned international
news
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 and have
this
Linking Words
 knowledge in the school
subject
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that learning international
news
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 would be a waste of time for students. They think
Add an article
a student
the student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 should
strict
Add a missing verb
be strict
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 with the main
subject
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 and knowledge about maths, sciences, or physics because they can use those subjects in the future in order to build their career.
Additionally
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, their future
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mostly depend on the exam, if they have to waste their valuable school time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learn
other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
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subject
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 that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not involve
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the main
subject
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, they may not get their dream scores on their exam at school. In conclusion, there are different points of
view
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 about
we
Correct word choice
whether we
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 should be taught international
news
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 as a
subject
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 at schools or not. In my
view
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, I think it necessary and it would be many benefits to
children
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 to learn and know about what
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 happened in our world because one day
children
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 will grow up to become adults and live their lives in the would, so it would be better to be
familliar
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of
news
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.
Submitted by evaiiz.qxes on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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