Nowadays, many animals becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human being are more important. Discuss view and give your own opinion

#animals #people #countries #individuals

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These days, many incidents happening wipe out

lives

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of people all over the world, so more and more citizens are concerned about human

lives

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, ignoring the alarming issue of endangered

animals

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which has not been solved yet. From my perspective, I do agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because of the following reasons. On the one hand, it is essential to concentrate on human beings since many threats are thriving in every corner of life.

For instance

Linking Words

, we can not deny the appearance of the Covid-19 pandemic bringing a long-lasting disease to people from all walks of life. Thank

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

this

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unwanted event, the death rate, especially in the old, is increasing with many pathetic situations in a couple of recent years.

As a result

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, inhabitants spend more time taking care of their health and living with a fear of whether any century incidents are happening in the near future.

Consequently

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, not only the governments but

also

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the public allocate amounts of time and money to people's conditions.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the alarming problem of endangered

animals

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is vital to put as much as possible efforts because

animals

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indirectly affect human

lives

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. It means that

animals

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collaborating with plants facilitate an ecological balance which is the nature surrounding humans. Each species plays a key role in the ecosystem so unless any of them becomes extinct, dwellers can live in a fresh and unpolluted environment.

This

Linking Words

issue has existed for many decades, even centuries, but neither authorizes nor any particular person has rectified it yet. In the long term, animal extinction will affect directly human

lives

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which may

last

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longer than the pandemic because, until

this

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moment, there are no techniques that can bring

animals

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back to life. In conclusion, the need for protecting

animals

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from being endangered is the most important issue that not only the government but

also

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each citizen should pay more attention to and take action to improve the consequences of

this

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situation.

Submitted by studywithmee.2022 on Sat Jun 04 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Nowadays, many animals becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human being are more important. Discuss view and give your own opinion

Many schools today require students to work without pay for companies as part of their education. Is this more advantageous to students or companies?

It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?