IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many Offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishments. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problems.

#offenders #crime #first #punishments #measures
The rate of crime is
emerging
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 increasingly severe in numerous nations and countries.
Although
 culprit threatens myriad societies, Their devastating consequences can be combated triumphantly.
This
 essay examines some of the troubles caused by committing more offences after penalization on the entire planet and nominates some viable remedies to curb the grave concerns.
to begin
 with, An atrocity causes an abundance of complications.
The first
Correct article usage
First
show examples
 and foremost
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
inadequate education has elevated rapidly. The chattels are extremely obvious.
For Instance
, A global report indicated that the rate of crimes is rising dramatically and the most shocking facts are that a prisoner who was punished is more involved or engaged in these sins.The second raise of concern is the poverty level across the globe has reached topnotch.
However
, the menace of resolutions can be fought. Education and awareness
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the main key to confronting the challenges. The population needs to be cognizant of the adversity.
Therefore
, they can
evade
Verb problem
avoid
show examples
 doing it.
Moreover
, the government should take strict action by implementing robust strategies and plans to address the trouble instantly.to cite an example,in the USA it is a general practice in the police station to stimulate education among the prisoners to educate them in order to combat the prevailing concerns. In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nutshell,crime is an acute issue since it induces hazardous impacts on the
overall
 community and
destructing
Verb problem
destroys
show examples
 the well-being of a country. The Best approaches to address it are the aforementioned solutions. Even though the challenge is improbable to be entirely eradicated in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 short duration there should be concrete measures to mitigate the negative effects it is having on the planet.
Submitted by Shabanraza489 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph is clearly focused on one main point and provides sufficient supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be strong and clearly present the main idea and the overall summary, respectively.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples and elaborate on the existing examples to support the main points.

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