Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss two view and give your opinion.

These days,
people
are more aware of having
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. According to
this
issue, a large number of
people
believe that just like any other muscle in our
body brain
Add a hyphen
body-brain
show examples
muscle needs to be exercised to stay active. They claim that doing
mind
booster
activities
such
as playing
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles
show examples
and reading
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
contribute to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
efficiently on future work by elevating
problem-solving
Add an article
the problem-solving
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and being more
concentrate
Replace the word
concentrated
show examples
. Meanwhile, some
people
argue that nowadays based on frantic
life
, after having a
back breaking
Add a hyphen
back-breaking
show examples
day they need to get refreshed and energetic by relaxing their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. Needless to say,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
activities
such
as reading
book
Add an article
a book
the book
show examples
and playing
puzzle
Add an article
a puzzle
show examples
game and so on, not only it is beneficial for improving our
mind
but
also
it helps to broaden our horizon and thinking
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
of
box
Add an article
the box
show examples
.
Furthermore
, playing puzzle help to relieve stress and develop
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skill and fast thinking ability.
On the other hand
, nowadays
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
of
people
has dramatically changed because of
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
crisis.
People
have to get
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
show examples
in multiple jobs in order to earn their living. So, it is mandatory to have peace and rest of
mind
by doing some hobbies
such
as listening to music and watching TV or physical
activities
. It will help them to put their
mind
at ease and make them energetic. In conclusion, I would like to convince
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
whatever
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
restore
Correct subject-verb agreement
restores
show examples
our vitality as leisurely pursuits and make us happier
with
Change preposition
without
show examples
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
doubt, enrich our
life
and by doing these
activities
one can gain plenty of knowledge which would definitely help us in our coming
life
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: