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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss two view and give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest #two
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These days,
people
Use synonyms
 are more aware of having
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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. According to
this
Linking Words
 issue, a large number of
people
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 believe that just like any other muscle in our
body brain
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body-brain
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 muscle needs to be exercised to stay active. They claim that doing
mind
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 booster
activities
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such
Linking Words
 as playing
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles
show examples
 and reading
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 contribute to
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 efficiently on future work by elevating
problem-solving
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the problem-solving
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skill
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skills
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 and being more
concentrate
Replace the word
concentrated
show examples
. Meanwhile, some
people
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 argue that nowadays based on frantic
life
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, after having a
back breaking
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back-breaking
show examples
 day they need to get refreshed and energetic by relaxing their
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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. Needless to say,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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some
activities
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such
Linking Words
 as reading
book
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a book
the book
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 and playing
puzzle
Add an article
a puzzle
show examples
 game and so on, not only it is beneficial for improving our
mind
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 but
also
Linking Words
 it helps to broaden our horizon and thinking
out
Change preposition
outside
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 of
box
Add an article
the box
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.
Furthermore
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, playing puzzle help to relieve stress and develop
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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 skill and fast thinking ability.
On the other hand
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, nowadays
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 of
people
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 has dramatically changed because of
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 crisis.
People
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 have to get
involve
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involved
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 in multiple jobs in order to earn their living. So, it is mandatory to have peace and rest of
mind
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 by doing some hobbies
such
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 as listening to music and watching TV or physical
activities
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. It will help them to put their
mind
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 at ease and make them energetic. In conclusion, I would like to convince
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
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 whatever
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
restore
Correct subject-verb agreement
restores
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 our vitality as leisurely pursuits and make us happier
with
Change preposition
without
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no
Correct determiner usage
a
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 doubt, enrich our
life
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 and by doing these
activities
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 one can gain plenty of knowledge which would definitely help us in our coming
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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