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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Other, however, say that this would have limit effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In the 20th century, modern medical treatments have been improved comare with past few decades. Because of the technologies,
people
Use synonyms
 are more concerned on how to improve the quality of life in the elderly age. Let us discuss in the below pragraphs about the views whether increasing the number of
sport
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facilities
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 can be improved public
health
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 or other factors
also
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 need to take into our consideration.
Firstly
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, keeping
exercise
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 might be identified as best way to improve
health
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.
People
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 are getting more attention on
health
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 during the pandemic, which make
people
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 aware of imminise system is built up by regular
exercise
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.
Therefore
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, the demand on increasing the number of
sport
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facilities
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 that might be the best way improve overall public
health
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. Having more
sport
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facilities
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 that can encourage
people
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 to do more
exercise
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 in their leisure time.
For example
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: It is usual to have at least one community centre in the particular area. In the community centre, which provide wide range of services. Including swimming pool, tennis and basketball area. Because of
this
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,
people
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 can easy to build up
On the other hand
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, increasing
sport
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facilities
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 might not consider as major effect that can improve
health
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. Indeed, we need to take into other factors like should we consider to have work-life-balance, eat healthy and reduce eating fast-food habit. If the frequency of eating fast-food is much more than doing
exercise
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, which.
For example
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: My brother keep his
exercise
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 routine during the weekend,
however
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, he like eats fast-food. At the end, he needs to see doctor to have regular check up to monitor heart. Becaus of
this
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, In conclusion, I tend to agree
people
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 need to be educated to have self-awareness to build up
health
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 concern from youth.
Such
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 as: building up
exercise
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 habit, eat healthy food etc. We cannot just purely rely on increasing
sport
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facilities
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, which is not the one-off solution to improve public
health
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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