IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Successful sports professions can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professions #money #people
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There is no doubt that these days, most
professinals
Correct your spelling
professionals
professional
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 always thinking about
salary
Use synonyms
 esspachlly
youn
Correct your spelling
your
young
player
Use synonyms
 always thinking about
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
 term, what they want for, they should not gives them as much as they want. The question is
acceces
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access
 sports
professionals
Use synonyms
 could gain
agreat
Correct your spelling
a great
 deal more
salary
Use synonyms
 than community in other significant
professionals
Use synonyms
.
Several
Add an auxiliary verb
Does several
show examples
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
show examples
 suppose
this
Linking Words
 is entirely justified while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 suppose it is unfair? In
this
Linking Words
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essay I am going to discuss my opinion. In terms of problems, In
this
Linking Words
, generation, we have many
professionals
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
 in whole sports
such
Linking Words
 as basketball, football, and so on.
For instance
Linking Words
 several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young players ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
worked hard to become
professionals
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 when they got that, they
thinking
Change the form of the verb
think
show examples
 about money. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that
such
Linking Words
 as youngest football
player
Use synonyms
, they
requier
Correct your spelling
require
 more money about nothing.
Inother
Correct your spelling
In other
Another
 words must not give
Correct article usage
the theme
show examples
theme
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 what they want even in future after 25 years old they give
theme
Correct article usage
the theme
show examples
 what
thwy
Correct your spelling
they
 want. ,
Howwever
Correct your spelling
However
, several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
players
palyers
Correct article usage
the palyers
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should give them what they want
exualy
Correct your spelling
sexually
such
Linking Words
 as Mappape and
Haland
Correct your spelling
Hyland
Holland
Halland
 these players are super players. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
, I prefer
give
Add the particle
to give
show examples
 some
professinals
Correct your spelling
professionals
professional
palyers
Correct your spelling
players
 as I mentioned before they do not give theme huge
salary
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Pedri
this
Linking Words
,
player
Use synonyms
, he got a huge
salary
Use synonyms
 for little
peformnce
Correct your spelling
performance
,
thus
Linking Words
, I agree with
this
Linking Words
, assignment.
Submitted by nfalfaroki on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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