Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,
people
's lifestyles are so varied from the prior time and they have less activity, so a group of populations believe that governments have to build a lot of sport centre to encourage
people
to do more activity.
This
essay discusses the main issues of building a number of gyms and the best ways to have healthy societies. Unfortunately, too many buildings have several matters for not only the environment but
also
the economy. On the one hand, if the number of sports places is increased, we need a lot of areas for them; in fact, governments have to climb the sectors of cities, and authorities must destroy environmental regions that are near residential districts.
On the other hand
, if the figure of public places rises, the number of
people
that use them declines;
besides
, they do not pay so much money for use; in fact, the whole cost which government investment in the building becomes waste owing to the fact that the incomes spend on keeping these buildings. The population is able to healthy
people
through some methods like advertisements and losing the cost of healthy food in
this
way. On the one side, when the total commercials that communities watch are about losing weight, they have a majority effect in their opinion and want to find good ways to have fitness. On the other side, I advise that governments get subsite on the price of the goods that are really healthy and have low fat;
hence
, the communities are encouraged to utilize these products.
To sum up
, both the environment and the economy
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
injured by building a lot of gyms
while
reducing the cost of dishes that have necessary nutrition and publicity have more influence on the inhabitants.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This can help clarify your points and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and connects smoothly to the next to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed both the problems and solutions as required by the task prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: