IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality
A number of people believe that being popular causes more problems rather than benefits. In my opinion, the most crucial drawbacks are a lack of privacy and a hypocritical attitude of people around, which is poisoning a life too much and for that reasons I consider, that disadvantages overweight advantages.
Firstly
, the stars jeopardise privacy, as they are always in the public eyes, followed by the annoying paparazzi, who are willing to reveal dirty facts for catchy headlines.
Consequently
, being under pressure from chasing might ruin the feeling of security and have a negative impact on a mental condition, which is dangerous.
For example
, I remember the case with Britney Spears, which occurred in her early period of popularity and ended up with a nervous collapse, when she had shaved baldly and went to rehab afterwards.
Secondly
, celebrities in the limelight are usually a point of interest for other people, aiming to get benefits, influence and useful connections through a friendship with a well-known person.
Therefore
 their attitude tends to be more hypocritical to please stars and receive something in return. Though it seems not awful at
first
 glance it is potentially detrimental when facing a serious problem you can not lean on somebody around, as you are not truly valuable to them. To sum up, fame is a great challenge and in my opinion brings more problems, affecting the most essential part of well-being,
such
 as the ability to keep privacy and to have loving and reliable persons around.
Submitted by olga.monahova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: