many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This has can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

#children #access #internet #socialise #situations #face #supervision

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It is commonly believed that

children

browse various websites and social media alone, and they may be

fraud

Fix the agreement mistake

frauds

show examples

at some websites or strangers on social platforms. These activities will cause social problems and bring kids into dangerous situations, and I will discuss

this

topic in

this

essay. Because young

people

still do not receive enough education and don't understand how serious problems like

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

sexual crimes and money fraud happened online, they trust everything they find on the

internet

easier than

adults

Moreover

children

, especially

Correct pronoun usage

those whose

show examples

whose

Correct your spelling

those

show examples

age between junior high school and high school, usually don’t want to follow their parents and teachers.

By contrast

, they love to do the same things with their friends and learn trends on the

internet

. Without supervising and restricting by

adults

children

may do bad something even involved in criminal occasions, or lose their money because of

scaming

Correct your spelling

scamming

However

people

still can cope with those negative impacts

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

caused by

adults

neglecting

Replace the word

neglect

show examples

Firstly

, parents and teachers should teach

children

how to use social media correctly;

for example

, they cannot trust any unfamiliar

people

on the

internet

and protect their own private identification anytime.

Secondly

, using software which can prevent young

people

from accessing illegal websites, and restricting social platforms which may include fraud or crime information. In conclusion, in

this

generation, the

internet

is a good innovation which let

people

get knowledge and information quickly and easy, but it

also

can become a poison to

children

if no

adults

supervise them when they surf online.

Submitted by tcc55662005 on Mon Jun 06 2022

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unsupervised access
socialise online
inappropriate content
psychologically harmful
cyberbullying
mental health consequences
online predators
exploitation
privacy risks
personal information
identity theft
privacy breaches
time management issues
excessive use
academic performance
physical activity
unhealthy lifestyles

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