IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that excessive use of modern technologies, such as computers and smartphones, is negatively affecting the reading and writing skills of our young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #technologies #computers #smartphones #skills
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Too much use of modern
technologies
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 might have a negative effect on young
people
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.
For
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this
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 reason, some
people
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 think that it can affect their reading and writing
skills
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. I completely agree that current
technologies
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 can give many benefits to young
people
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.
Firstly
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, current
technologies
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 like smartphones can give young
people
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 many opportunities to learn. Nowadays, there are various learning platforms on the internet that can help
people
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 to acquire specific
skills
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. Reading and writing
skills
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 can be obtained not only from conventional training but
also
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 from modern training. Young
people
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 can learn how to get better reading and writing
skills
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 by learning various methods that are available on the internet.
Secondly
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, the youth can learn their reading
skills
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 through electronic
books
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 that are widely available right now. It is more convenient to get electronic
books
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 compared to physical
books
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 because it is easily accessible.
Moreover
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, they can get more time to select what kind of
books
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 they want to read.
Finally
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, writing
skills
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 can be achieved with the help of modern technology
such
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 as artificial intelligence (AI). Nowadays, young
people
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 are familiar with AI because it has many benefits for their daily activities. It cannot be denied that with the assistance of AI, various activities can be done in a brief amount of time.
Thus
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, they can get help from AI
such
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 as writing refinement and
then
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 improve their writing
skills
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. In conclusion, I would argue that
although
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 modern
technologies
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 might negatively affect young
people
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 in terms of reading and writing
skills
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. There are various benefits that can be achieved through modern
technologies
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,
thus
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 improving reading and writing
skills
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 for young
people
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.
Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the topic by clearly stating your position on the matter in the introduction. This helps to meet the requirement for a complete response.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and help in achieving a higher score in task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs. This can be achieved by using a variety of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Strive to keep your essay focused on how technology affects reading and writing skills specifically. While discussing the benefits of technology, make sure to tie these back to the main topic effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revisit your conclusion to ensure it succinctly summarizes your key points and clearly restates your position. A strong, clear conclusion reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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