IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In marriages today, some argue that it is the responsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#marriages #argue #responsibility #spouses
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From past to present, the world has evolved and changed in many ways principally in terms of marriage perspectives. Some people claim that
both
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spouses
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 have to
gain
Verb problem
make
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 a living for their own
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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,
whereas
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 others believe the opposite. In my point of view,
both
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spouses
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 should be
earned
Verb problem
treated
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 equally but there are several benefits and drawbacks with regard to ethics. There are numerous reasons for proponents of
both
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spouses
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 to gain a living for the family.
To begin
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 with, in order to ensure financial stability,they gain a good
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 state.Some
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 issues lead to maintaining unhappy marriages life and it causes sometimes even
spouses
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 to have
children
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,
children
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's living conditions can be affected badly.
Furthermore
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, unlike economic responsibilities, women and men have equal rights.
Hence
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,parents must
need
Verb problem
apply
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work to fulfil the
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
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 of the family. Taking on greater responsibilities from husbands and wives brings about careful expenditures. Shortly, that woman and man provide their own families with economic support and the importance of caring for equal rights.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 intense work-life for families causes neglecting their own
children
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 and mental health.
For instance
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, the care of
children
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 of married working couples has big issues
about
Change preposition
with
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children
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's mental health as
children
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 usually feel lonely and feel a lack of family love or affection.These drawbacks bring about mental disorders in
children
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.
That is
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 why parents try setting up their own work schedules. If
this
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 issue is
eager
Correct word choice
easy
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 to handle, parents can be increased work times.
To sum up
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, with the new developments, marriages play a crucial role in the world. In my opinion,
both
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spouses
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 to earn a living for their own family but
this
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 case can be balanced because preventing mental problems for
children
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.
Submitted by idilim1230 on

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task response
Include specific examples to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
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