IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#repair #buildings #money
As the technology advancement is there in the stream of civil engineering, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
fascinates
Change the verb form
fascinate
show examples
towards
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the modern building
instead
 of renovating old buildings.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my standpoint, I agree with the statement. The forthcoming paragraphs elucidate relevant reasons with supporting
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 to support my opinion.
To embark
Fix the infinitive
Embark
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, spending money on
contemporary
Add an article
a contemporary
the contemporary
show examples
house
 can be
benefited
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 in numerous ways. Nowadays civil engineering technology led
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 advancement in the infrastructure of
Add an article
the building
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
. To explain it,
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 conception of
building
Add an article
the building
a building
show examples
 by using enough strong material and deploying qualified engineers make
modern
Add an article
a modern
show examples
house
 which is sustainable in
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
disaster
Change the noun form
disasters
show examples
such
 as storms, and earthquakes.
Moreover
, sometimes
people
 end up
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living in
old
Add an article
an old
the old
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
, because of various reasons
such
 as the lack of proper utilization of spaces like vehicle parking space, dissatisfaction of interior of
house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
 and many more.
For example
,
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
house
 was not built as per
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 scenario as today's every family is having 2 to 3 vehicles (Car, bike) in their houses.
Consequently
, that
house
 could not cope
up
Change preposition
with
show examples
 these vehicles due to lack of space.
Thus
, making modern
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 of their own
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
 can be
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
 solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these problems. To sum up,
although
 some
people
 believe that building
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 contemporary
house
 will cost extravagant and is time taking process, in my opinion spending money and time on
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
house
 is
one time
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
 effort that could be assisting
people
 in long run and to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the problems that they felt in their old
house
 and that make them more satisfied.
Submitted by raj345355 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: