Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to reset the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #reset

People opine differently towards how to use their

lesiure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

. Some of them advocate using their spare

time

for self-improving activities like reading, while others prefer taking a rest to clear their minds. As far as I am concerned, these two views are not necessarily mutually exclusive but a larger portion of leisure

time

should be allocated to the former.

Nowaways

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

, competition in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is relentlessly fierce. In the developed world, not only plenty of jobs are being taken away by developing countries at an ever-ascending pace, but the increasingly advanced technology like artificial intelligence is

also

going to replace a lot of work currently performed by

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

as well. With the number of jobs decreasing, and the existing workers protected by powerful labour unions, the unemployment rates of young adults can be as high as 40% in some European countries. In order to compete with peers and get a job with

prosperous

Correct article usage

a prosperous

show examples

future, it is imperative for young people to add value to themselves during leisure

time

On the other hand

, it is undeniable that working all day with no rest can bring extreme stress,

Correct your spelling

tiredness

tireness

Correct word choice

and tireness

show examples

and it can sometimes lead to lower study or work efficiency, or even depression

Change preposition

show examples

people of certain personalities.

For example

, my neighbour was so depressed and felt extremely negative after pushing himself so hard before public examinations. It took him several months to recover to his normal self. To sum up, when one

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

spare

time

, it is vital to use it to upgrade himself or herself to prepare for all the challenges ahead. Yet it is still

adviceable

Correct your spelling

advisable

adviseable

to leave some

time

for relaxing. To me, allocating a larger part of leisure

time

in the former and a smaller part in the latter strikes a good balance.

Submitted by ABC_XYZ on Tue Jun 07 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to reset the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.

A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?

These days, food days, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?