Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to reset the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People opine differently towards how to use their
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
. Some of them advocate using their spare
time
for self-improving activities like reading, while others prefer taking a rest to clear their minds. As far as I am concerned, these two views are not necessarily mutually exclusive but a larger portion of leisure
time
should be allocated to the former.
Nowaways
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, competition in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is relentlessly fierce. In the developed world, not only plenty of jobs are being taken away by developing countries at an ever-ascending pace, but the increasingly advanced technology like artificial intelligence is
also
going to replace a lot of work currently performed by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
as well. With the number of jobs decreasing, and the existing workers protected by powerful labour unions, the unemployment rates of young adults can be as high as 40% in some European countries. In order to compete with peers and get a job with
prosperous
Correct article usage
a prosperous
show examples
future, it is imperative for young people to add value to themselves during leisure
time
.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that working all day with no rest can bring extreme stress,
Correct your spelling
tiredness
tireness
Correct word choice
and tireness
show examples
and it can sometimes lead to lower study or work efficiency, or even depression
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
people of certain personalities.
For example
, my neighbour was so depressed and felt extremely negative after pushing himself so hard before public examinations. It took him several months to recover to his normal self. To sum up, when one
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
spare
time
, it is vital to use it to upgrade himself or herself to prepare for all the challenges ahead. Yet it is still
adviceable
Correct your spelling
advisable
adviseable
to leave some
time
for relaxing. To me, allocating a larger part of leisure
time
in the former and a smaller part in the latter strikes a good balance.
Submitted by ABC_XYZ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: