IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, not many young people choose to work in the farming industry. Why do you think that is? How could young people be encouraged to work in this industry?

#people #work #industry
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With urbanization, farming has become an industry with less workforce than how it used to be in the past. The new generation is walking towards the new shiny occupations and away from farming.
This
Linking Words
 essay will talk about the reasons why the new generation doesn’t choose farming as their career and the possible ways to motivate people to get into the farming sector. One of the major reasons is our education model which is not designed in a way that could encourage a child to make a career in agriculture. There are relatively fewer schools and universities providing courses on farming. Another key reason is the lack of financial security. Unlike other occupations, farming completely depends on the climate which poses a real threat to the
farmers
Use synonyms
 around the globe. Changing patterns of rainfall sometimes destroy the cultivation and leaves nothing that could make them money. One of the possible ways to encourage youth could be by mixing farming with technology. Government should provide training about the new technologies and make the latest equipment available to
farmers
Use synonyms
 for rent or at minimum prices. The other extremely important factor is providing
farmers
Use synonyms
 with financial security. When the crops are damaged due to unfavourable climatic conditions, the government should provide the
farmers
Use synonyms
 with financial help. For people that don’t have their own land, Government can employ them in farming like the other occupations and provide them monthly salaries,
this
Linking Words
 will give them a full-time paying job and will incline more people to work in agriculture. To summarize, farming is not very attractive to the youth because of its challenges but with the appropriate steps and enough motivation, youth can be attracted to farming. If we don’t want
farmers
Use synonyms
 to quit their jobs, now is the time to make amends.
Submitted by hansa.pandit11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: