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Band 6.5

It is compulsory for children to attend school between the ages of 5 and 16. Many people are in favour of raising the age at which children must start their schooling to 6 or 7, and the age at which they are allowed to stop to 17 or 18. People of this view believe teenagers would gain more from staying in school longer. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#children #school #ages #people #favour #age #teenagers
Parents
 are sincere toward the education of their
children
, they understand the tough
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 that they
hve
Correct your spelling
have
 to follow. The
children
 who are aged between 5 and 16 should
compulsarily
Correct your spelling
compulsorily
 attend the schools and many people are in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
favour that their
children
 must start their schooling between 6 and 7 and are allowed to stop
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 17 or 18 so that young
children
 could spend time with their
parents
. I will discuss the
possible
Replace the word
possibility
show examples
 to agree with the given statement.
To begin
 with, It is mandatory for a
child
 to start an education as
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 reaches
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 to 6. Until
this
age
child
 has become
fimiliar
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familiar
 with the
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
 and understands language, just below a step
towards
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 general communication. In
this
 phase action and
thinking
Add a comma
,thinking
show examples
 abilities are elevated to adapt
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
faster
Add an article
a faster
show examples
 pace. In
school
, learning is comprised of mainly reading, writing, listening, and speaking tasks in which
child
 is made to understand all four to make the worldly picture
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
clearer in order to increase their thinking and
creatice
Correct your spelling
creative
create
capabiliites
Correct your spelling
capabilities
. While, at home,
parents
 impart the essential moral value to behave at different times.
For instance
, In
school
, teachers were teaching the
literatures
Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
show examples
 that were written by great philosophers and
then
children
 were asked what you have learned at the end. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
parents
told
Add a missing verb
are told
show examples
 to adhere
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 routines of life.
On the other hand
, teenagers are encouraged to stay in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 for longer, as they have to decide their carrier path. In
this
 phase,
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 chooses
lucrative
Add an article
a lucrative
show examples
 path and evaluates performance through academic records.
For example
, In India,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are different kinds of exams
thar
Correct your spelling
that
 are highly competitive in nature. If one has to her
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 prestigious college, they should perform
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 in these exams. With
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 advent of
immense
Add an article
the immense
show examples
 pressure of
studies
Add a comma
,studies
show examples
 they used to be in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 for longer. In conclusion, schooling of
children
 should be started at the
age
that is
 recommended by
parents
 and in general perspective. Until the
age
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 17 or
18
Add a comma
,18
show examples
 they get support from both the sides from
school
 and
parents
 as they
hace
Correct your spelling
have
 to excel
further
 with moral and educational values.
Submitted by lushennandanwar.ln on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • emotional development
  • foundational learning
  • basic literacy and numeracy
  • comprehensive education
  • higher education
  • job market
  • emotional and social maturity
  • personal development
  • societal interactions
  • student burnout
  • educational policy
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