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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people from rural areas moving to the cities .what problems can this cause?what can be solutinos

There is no denying the fact that the movement of
people
Use synonyms
 from rural
areas
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 to
cities
Use synonyms
 has become a common phenomenon in many countries.
This
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 issue has caused several problems in society.
Although
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 these problems are serious, I believe they can be solved;
this
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 is because governments can adopt better urban planning, and it
also
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 depends on improving rural infrastructure and services.
To begin
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 with, one major problem is the rapid increase in population density in
cities
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,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
Linking Words
 creates significant pressure on housing and public services.
In other words
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, when too many
people
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 migrate to urban
areas
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, there will be a shortage of affordable housing, traffic congestion, and overcrowded schools and hospitals.
For example
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, in countries
such
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 as India and Nigeria, uncontrolled migration has led to the growth of slums and poor living conditions.
Moreover
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,
this
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 trend leaves rural regions underdeveloped because most young and skilled
people
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 leave their hometowns. In terms of solutions, governments should improve facilities in rural
areas
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, and they
also
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 need to create job opportunities outside big
cities
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. Indeed, if rural regions have good schools, hospitals, and reliable infrastructure,
people
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 will not feel the need to migrate.
For instance
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, in some European countries, investment in rural development projects has successfully reduced urban migration.
Furthermore
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, authorities can promote decentralisation by supporting smaller towns and encouraging companies to establish businesses in rural regions. In conclusion,
although
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 the movement of
people
Use synonyms
 from rural
areas
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 to
cities
Use synonyms
 has caused several social and economic problems, I believe there are practical solutions;
therefore
Linking Words
, governments should focus on rural development
while
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also
Linking Words
 managing urban growth.
This
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 balanced approach will ensure sustainable development and a better quality of life for all citizens.

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coherence
Add more clear topic sentences for each paragraph to show main point.
style
Use only simple sentences and avoid long, complex clauses.
development
Give more detail on how each solution would work in real life.
language
Check grammar to avoid small errors that can slow reading.
content
Clear view on the issue and on how to solve it.
support
Good use of examples from real places.
structure
Logical layout with introduction, body and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban migration
  • infrastructure
  • urban sprawl
  • accommodation
  • degradation
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • remote work
  • cultural preservation
  • integration
  • assimilation
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