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Band 6.5

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
Children
 are pursuing several employment in various nations. Some people are believing in
this
 statement
,
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apply
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 because earning money earlier
age
effortless
Add a missing verb
is effortless
show examples
 way familiar with technical and communication skills.
In contrast
, others denied
this
 argument. If
children
work
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 earlier
age
, many difficulties they will
face
 in the future. I entirely believe in the latter statement, peer can
face
 physical and mental issues and
also
 lack of
education
 create
massive
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a massive
show examples
 impact on the future.
First
 of all, a number of
children
 are doing
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 jobs for money. In some developing countries, allow them to
work
 before mature
age
.
Consequently
, it creates major issues for their health. They are faced with physical and mental challenges. In some cases, hard
work
 is prioritized; so
children
 are doing that type of
work
 in a time frame.
Therefore
, they are lifting heavy-weight equipment in industries. After a long period of time, they have to deal with several diseases like spine pain, and fractures in the bone.
For instance
, at a construction site, several
children
work
 over there as a helper to supply bricks, stones, and many other things.
However
, due to being under
age
 and some accidents at the site, they
face
 a physical disability.
Secondly
,
children
 who
work
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at in
show examples
in
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an
show examples
earlier
Add an article
an earlier
show examples
age
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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believe
education
 is the waste of time.
In addition
, due to
low
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a low
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of literacy, they have to
face
with
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apply
show examples
many consequences like they are able to read or write basic things.
Finally
, In today’s world without prior knowledge about basic studies, they cannot survive in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Take
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
example,
children
 who
work
 after 14 years, they are not perfectly read any article in
mother
Correct pronoun usage
their mother
show examples
 tongue or any other language because lack of
education
 to difficult for them to deal with
this
 problem. In conclusion,
children
 should focus on studies rather than earning money. Because
education
 and health key
role playing
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role-playing
show examples
 in whole life.
Submitted by Mayur Patel on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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