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Band 6

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #malls #society
A part of the community contends about the negative influence of
malls
 on society, especially in
youngters'
Correct your spelling
youngsters's
 lives, as they are spending too much of their spare time there. The paragraphs below will outline a partial disagreement toward
this
 trend explaining that these
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 make it easy for family and
friends
 to meet and increase the cycle of interpersonal relationships, but,
on the other hand
, do not provide productive activities.
To begin
 with, the main reason why I do not consider that the youth spending too much time in shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 represents trouble is that
malls
 can please all opinions, gather family, and make
friends
 in the same environment.
For instance
, as a place that have a myriad of collective entertainment businesses,
such
 as bowling,
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
, and clothing stores, it encourages individuals to make
friends
 with strangers just by having similar interests.
Therefore
, it opens up the possibility for everyone to do something they like and increases the chances of meeting new
people
 and developing a lifelong relationship just by walking by or waiting in the same line.
Furthermore
, another cogent motive to justify why I do not believe that youngsters enjoying their whole leisure time in
malls
 is somehow noxious is due to the
multioptions
Correct your spelling
multi options
multi-options
 of activities that it offers to the community. To illustrate, despite being an ally to encourage
people
 to develop social skills, it
also
 provides shared workrooms, libraries and print shops, allowing individuals to work, study and develop ideas. Many young
people
 prefer to study in these facilities than at home owing to the structure and ambience
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
it offers. To conclude, I strongly disagree that shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are impacting negatively the youth and society since it allows families and
friends
 to enjoy each other's company, to meet new
people
 and to study and work if it is their desire.
Thus
,
malls
 provide entertainment and the possibility to concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 important
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 activities.
Submitted by alexandretco on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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