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Band 4.5

Childhood obesity is a growing problem nowadays. What can be done to solve the problem?

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Childhood obesity is a growing problem nowadays. What can be done to solve the problem?
To begin
Linking Words
 with, schools can increase the amount of exercise for everyone.
For example
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,
children
Use synonyms
 can do longer warm-ups and
then
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 multiple different exercises like running, push-ups, pull-ups and jumping.
As a result
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, kids will burn out their energy and the unhealthy fats and ingredients they ate during the day at
school
Use synonyms
. Another solution is to change
children
Use synonyms
's diet. Of course,
noone
Correct your spelling
no one
none
 can tell a parent how to raise their kids, but
for instance
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, the diet in
school
Use synonyms
 can be changed.
Like
Change preposition
Instead
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instead
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 of some unhealthy
food
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,
school
Use synonyms
administrative
Replace the word
administrators
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 can replace them with more vegetables, fruits and
such
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.
Consequently
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,
children
Use synonyms
 will not only eat healthier at
school
Use synonyms
 but they will
also
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 get used to it and maybe start doing it at home.
Linking Words
Last
Add a comma
,Last
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 of all,
children
Use synonyms
 can make their own healthy
food
Use synonyms
 and bring it to
school
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.
For example
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, the parents or the kids themselves can make sandwiches or salads and maybe even some cooked
food
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. After all, there is nothing healthier than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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homemade.
This
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 way,
children
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 and more important their parents
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
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 worry about the
food
Use synonyms
 they eat. In conclusion, there are many different ways to deal with childhood obesity. But most importantly, everything depends on the people themselves and their will to make a change.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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